So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
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