Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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