It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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