what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
