Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
