My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
