Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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