Heybabeimwearingurpanties
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize