We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just googled if crying burns calories
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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