Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
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