He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
