i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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