Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
