Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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