we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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