im drinking this country out of the recession.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
