You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
