PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
