told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
