Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
