Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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