In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize