I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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