just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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