I seem to have left my pride at pride
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
