Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
