We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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