How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I have feelings that need drinking.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Two words: blizzard sex
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
