i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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