I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize