apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
