she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
