So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Just cropdusted the office
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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