we made out on top of his cat.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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