Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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