I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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