Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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