He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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