I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
