I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
