You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
