can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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