We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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