I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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