im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
someone owes me an orgasm
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
