what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
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