i barfeds in our rink
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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