so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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