guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize