Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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