Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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