he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
