Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize
