I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
