This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Randomize
