I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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