I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
