Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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