Where is the hickey?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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