So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
