do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
