Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i was born a porn star she said
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
