ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
