After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
